What Is Important to Me Now

What is important to me now?

I realized that I’m no longer in my teens now. It’s true that I can’ t go back to the past and change things. Every passing time something new happens and we are all living and being sad and happy. For me I’m sure what I want to do after I’m done with national service. Like everyone else who believes in education and that it would give us some direction in life, I’m going to study and get it right for better or for worse. Ok I have followed the philosophy that perhaps is wise to follow. And looking at this little bit of plan of mine on a large part I realized that I don’t know for some of us but for me, even though I have a plan something just creeps out and make me feel what the hell I’m doing this for? I always stumble upon this and at some point it got me searching for answers I can’t really answer. For the past six years of being a teenager, my life is still pretty much the same. Blame it on the poor decisions I made, the same lame excuses of not wanting to change for the better and my constant pessimism on my outlook in life. Where did the time go? I have no memories really worth recalling. All I know that the summary of my teenage hood is classified as fucked up. With more time lost and nothing really much gained. I ask my 20-year-old brain this question. What is important to me now?

Let’s start with some the greatest essentials that maybe you and I want out of this life. As a heterosexual male, of course I want to be in a relationship with a girl. I’ve never been into one though and majority of the time especially on my thinking period I never fail to miss that relationship topic as I think of my life. I’m always wishing that I found someone right and build a relationship that would work. But nothing really happened. I went down memory lane to remember the number of rejections that I got from a girl without even telling me a really good reason why? Damn those girls and I’m probably sure they regret it one day for rejecting.